Congratulations, for becoming a truly global citizen, by taking that bold step to date a person outside your race. Races and their color are not of their own liking or making, but because of the geographical location and climate their ancestors were born. Only broadminded view and openness to approach this issue about race would help solve the problems and agonies, the races are undergoing today. Though much is talked about individual freedom to choose a partner for life, that sarcastic look glanced at the passing interracial couple is a common sight all over the world. This is more prevalent in the cases of a Whiteman dating a black woman or a black woman dating a white man.
The concept of dating is age old and is encouraged by most parents but there seems to be a worry tagged on to the persons dating outside their race or community. Any kind of worry is capable of destabilizing a person’s emotional strength, particularly when people pass adverse comments about interracial dating. You might a have heard about such negative comments passed on people known to you, and you might have developed some kind of worry in your mind that you may also be criticized in case you date a person outside your race. You may worry that not only your peers but your parents and family would also not approve your date. But this kind of worry may prove to be false in your case when your peers and parents approve your date and show their happiness. So, skip the worrying part and go ahead in choosing a date of your own choice and will.
You, as an individual, have every right to choose and date a partner and the opinions and views of others are only secondary. But in case, you come from a very conservative family and you are aware that your parents may not approve your choice of date from another race, you might be caught in a dilemma as to how to solve the problem. There could only be two possible scenarios; one, you are in college and under the protection of your parents for all your needs and the other you are gainfully employed and you can meet all our needs. In the first case, no doubt, you have to convince your parents about the genuine of your dating and get their approval for such dating. This may not happen immediately, but with your perseverance and reasoning capabilities, you could win over them and have the date of your choice.
In case, you are gainfully employed and are capable of taking your own decisions based on merits, no one can stop you from having a choice to date from another race. But, it may be difficult for you to totally estrange yourself from all your family and friends and go ahead with your dating. When you are a person who treats the genuine feeling of others with respect, you can always talk to them, reason out, impress them about the goodness you found in your date and win over them. Initially, they may not come around, but be confident and continue with your efforts which would definitely bring them around.
Everybody loves to have secret and keep it under wrap. Some secrets are so very personal that they could not be shared with others, and keeping them under wrap is somewhat justified. There are some other secrets that could not be kept as secret for a long time, and will be known to all. Your dating is one such secret that could not be kept under wrap for a long time. One of the reasons, adduced by interracial couple, in keeping their dating a secret is due to the fear of comments and criticism they may receive from others. Unfortunately, still there are educated people who believe that their criticism based on the race; ethnicity, color and creed are justified. Parents, when they are judgmental, they behave like that due to the fear that they may face criticism from their clan. So, when you foresee such a situation, you may not like to hurt their sentiments and feelings and try to keep your interracial dating secret and under wrap. Though you may justify the reason for keeping your date as a secret, it amounts to morally cheating your parents. Imagine a situation that despite keeping your date as a secret, they come to know from others, what an amount of agony and pain they’ll undergo. So, you must discuss the issue and its ramifications with your date and strategize a move that would make your dating a success.
Now, let us look at the reasons for keeping your date under wrap with your peers and friends. Interracial dating may cause you anxiety and you may lie to others about it. As you know, lies are easily detectable and you cannot be reeling out lies for ever as you are bound to miss its continuity. The best option would be to make your interracial dating known to your friends and peers, of course, keeping it as a secret for a very short time. To make your dating known to others, you must also take your date into confidence, discuss the pros and cons of letting out your secret and chart out the best time and method to disclose it to others. This kind of discussion and strategy will help you as a dating couple, to know each one better and help both of you bond much more closely. Once the matter is known to your friends and peers, initially, some may try to prevail upon you by giving advice and try to discourage your interracial dating. Be patient with them and just listen and ignore their advice. After sometime, they will lose interest in the matter and come around along with other encouraging friends and colleagues to encourage you. The most important thing in dealing with your dating is that, having convinced to date a person from another race or creed; you should stand by your commitment and not desert your date for the fear of receiving negative comments from your parent, peers and friends.
Many of you would have come across so many interracial couples, like white men dating black women, and thought of why these white men are so fond of and love black women. First, in the scenario of dating, more black women are becoming interested in white men than ever before. It’s also a fact that black women are making a mark as a true and sincere partner in dating, which make them succeed in choosing a partner for life. But at the same time, there are still a number of white men who do not have any slightest idea to get involved with a black woman, leave alone having a serious relationship. One of the reasons could be that they are scared to antagonize their parents, peers and friends by having an interracial relationship or they have been successful in finding white women who suit their interest. Men are naturally attracted to women, who are sincere, confident and have tenacity to withstand any adverse situation. These qualities could also be seen in black women, who are achievers in the face of criticisms and adversity heaped on them.
Many white male individuals who have negative feelings about black women in general, are the main cause for spreading their hatred in the minds of their near and dear. More and more black women are now getting educated, capable of earning as much as a man earn and are fiercely independent in their views and thoughts. White men are more attracted towards such black women although they have a choice of dating white women. There is a kind of resolute in most of the black women who are determined to say what they want and do what they wish without any inhibitions. This could be reflective of the freedom Blacks longed so long from the shackles of colonialism which reigned cruelty on their earlier generations. Apart from this forward looking black women who disapprove the acts of young black men, tend to look away from the whole lot of black men and when a white man impresses her and seek date, they willingly join such dating. While most families approve the inter racial dating, it could be said that mutual attraction towards one another is the important reason for getting involved in such dating, and white men dating black women are no exceptions to such dating.
There has been some kind worry tagged on to persons who date a person outside their race. Generally people worry about many things which are not worries at all. You may worry about an incident that may or may not happen. If the incident doesn’t happen, all your worries go in the drain but as feared when the incident actually happens that would not be so worrisome. So why do you worry at all? The kind of worry now we are talking is about most of the daters who worry when he/she date a person belonging to a different race. Apart from worrying about their peers, they worry most about their parents, thinking that they may not approve such a dating. But till you test with your parents, you may not know what is in their minds. In the western world most of the parents understand that dating is an approved method which helps two individuals understand each other about their likes and dislikes and whether they can forge a bond of marriage as a result of their dating.
Dating one another is a time tested concept, and as an individual every one has a right to choose and date a person. But here, the worry is not about dating but about interracial dating. No doubt, in this modern age, most parent who have positive thinking approve their wards interracial dating. But still there are families who disapprove such dating and relationships. Persons who date must be aware that it is natural for some of their peers, relations, and friends criticize their choice of person to date. While you need not worry about the comments from them, you must take into account the feelings of your parents. Some parents are genuinely worried that as minor or a student their children are not that matured enough to enter into inter racial relationships. As their concern is genuine and they are wise enough, as a minor it is always better to date with the consent of the parents, as they are your providers and well wishers.
Well, in respect of matured adults, if you wish to seriously date a person outside your race, it is always better to let your parent know of your desires. If you have the slightest doubt about their approval, please open a dialogue with them, convey about your feelings, clear any misconceptions about the other race and talk to them about your genuine interest, and try to win over them to have a cherished married life. Once the matter is discussed and intentions become clear, in most of the cases, apprehensions worrying the parent fade away and make them look at the brighter prospects of such marriages. The belief system of conservative parents blocking interracial dating will be pushed aside and with open mind they would accept the reality. Nobody expects surprises including your parent who is interested in you, and it is your openness with them that would mitigate all your unnecessary worries.